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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?